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God's a dick, but he also contradicts. Here are 10 blatant contradictions in the Bible.

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God (Yahweh) incited David to take a census.

2 Samuel 24:1

Again the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, 'Go, count the people of Israel and Judah.'

Satan (Not God) incited David to take a census.

1 Chronicles 21:1

Satan stood up against Israel and incited David to count the people of Israel.

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God both does and doesn't punish children for their parent's sin.

Exodus 20:5

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.

God both does and doesn't punish children for their parent's sin.

Ezekiel 18:20

The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.

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If you are looking to cool down after all that hot sausage, check out these silly miracles.

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The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.