Dad's Drunk Dick | Genesis 9:21-22
When he (Noah) drank some wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside.
Snippeth the Tippeth | Genesis 17:10–11
This is my covenant, which you shall keep, between me and you and your offspring after you: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskins, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and you.
Moses's Cum to Jesus Moment | Exodus 4:24-25
At a lodging place on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son's foreskin and touched Moses' feet with it. "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me," she said.
Mind the Balls | Deuteronomy 23:1
No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the Lord.
No Handys Allowed | Deuteronomy 25:11–12
If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.
Hearts Have Dicks | Jeremiah 4:4
Circumcise yourselves to the Lord, circumcise your hearts, you people of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem, or my wrath will flare up and burn like fire because of the evil you have done - burn with no one to quench it.
Cock Like an Egyptian | Ezekiel 16:26
You engaged in prostitution with the Egyptians, your neighbors with large genitals, and aroused my anger with your increasing promiscuity.
Thick and Creamy | Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Paul Wants Less Dicks | Galatians 5:12
As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!
God's Unholy Release | Psalm 81:10
I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.
